I am reading the book by Henry Cloud titled, “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to say No”. I am currently reading in Chapter two and think that he makes a great point on the distinction between burdens and loads. These words are both used by the Apostle Paul in the book of Galatians when giving instructions to the church on doing good to all.
Galatians 6:2- Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:5- for each one should carry their own load.
For many in the church these two verses can be very confusing in terms of where personal responsibility begins and ends, compared to how we serve others. I have struggled myself knowing when to step in and help someone or if they are being irresponsible. The author brings great distinction and insight into these verses:
The Greek word for burden means “excess burdens,” or burdens that are so heavy that they weigh us down. These burdens are like boulders. They can crush us. We shouldn’t be expected to carry a boulder by ourselves! It would break our backs. We need help with the boulders- those times of crisis and tragedy in our lives.
In contrast, the Greek word for load means “cargo,” or “the burden of daily toil.” This word describes the everyday things we all need to do. These loads are like knapsacks. Knapsacks are possible to carry. We are expected to carry our own. We are expected to deal with our own feelings, attitudes, and behaviors, as well as the responsibilities God has given to each one of us, even though it takes effort.
Problems arise when people act as if their “boulders” are daily loads, and refuse help, or as if their “daily loads” are boulders they shouldn’t have to carry. The results of these two instances are either perpetual pain or irresponsibility. (Page 30)
The best application I can think of is to be clear about the things that truly are our responsibility to own. The rest of the chapter gives further insight into what’s on that list: Feelings, Attitudes & Beliefs, Behaviors, Choices, Values, Limits, Talents, Thoughts, Desires, and Love. May God continue to help us know this distinction!